Run Jenni, Run











{June 12, 2013}   06.12.2013 – Food Journal

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New food journal.

New food plan.

New detail later.

Later Days,

-Jenni.



Wow, it’s been awhile!

The end of school is fast approaching, and no one is more ready for summer than I am.  I have got my summer workout plan figured out and I am ready to throw it into action.  It’s full of yoga and a lot of running/soccer practice.  I have June planned out, an I am excited to be opting for the unlimited yoga pass for the entire month.  I will be able to focus on my practice and have myself centered for summer.  Throwing cardio in the mix will help improve my cardio and be the action that really burns the extra calories I am trying to lose.  I am trying to focus on adding rather than subtracting, something that I am learning about as I am reading Healthy Tipping Point, the book written by one of my favorite bloggers, Caitlyn Boyle. 

The main idea I am focusing on this summer is not restrictiong food, but adding physical activity.  As I add physical activity, I know that I will be craving better food.  While I am not restricting myself from a piece of chocolate if that is what I desire, I am hoping that the increase in activity will cause me to increase my intake of healthier options like fruits and vegetables.  I am also hoping to continue my vegetarian diet, which has blackslid a bit the past several weeks.  I am trying not to focus on calorie-couting, as I have done in the past.  This time around I am trying to add in nutritious food, at a reasonable portion size, that will keep me feeling nutured and healthy. 

It definitely a journey, and I am glad to be start it (again!).  I am ready to take back my life and find my healthy, and happy, place in the world.

Later Days,

-Jenni.



As a start to my new healthy-living mantra, I am implementing a rule.  A rule which I have stolen from my friend Julie, who stole the rul from a movie (Parental Guidance…I think). 

For every downer, I own myself three uppers.  Three compliments about myself or things that I am thankful for in my life.

This means that every time I put myself down, I have to come up with three things that will lift me back up.  And after yesterday’s post, I owe myself quite a few uppers…specifically thirty.  I owe myself thirty “uppers”.  So, here we go…

1. I am smart.  I am currently teaching myself through study guides so that I can get my teaching certification.

2. I can cook a perfect pancake.  It has taken a lot of tries, but it’s perfection.

3. My hair color is awesome.  Just, awesome.

4. I am a great educator.  This is validated.  I get told at least weekly that I am wonderful with the kids that I work with.

5. I have the ability to run.  I may be slow and it may not be far, but I have the ability to run.

6. I am witty.

7. I have a family that does everything in its power to provide happiness for me.

8. I am able-bodied enough to do yoga, on a daily basis if I want, and I am more relaxed because of this.

9. I can grow my own herbs (hopefully!). 

10. I have friends that are supportive, even when they are not sure what’s going on with me.

11. I live less than three hours away from both Florida coasts… I’m surrounded by beach.

12. I get to go to SeaWorld for FREE on Friday.

13. One of my students told me I was skinny.  In a middle school environment, that means everything. 

14. I am trusted enough that people come to me for advice.

15. I understand nutrition enough that people come to me for advice.

16. I am making daily decisions that are creating a healthier life for me.

17. I can bake/cook healthy and not-so-healthy treats.

18. I have stuck to my 85% vegetarian goal for almost a month.

19.  I am feeling more and more committed to yoga every day.

20. I came to work today instead of faking sick and sleeping all day.

21. I overcame my emotions yesterday without the use of self-injury or horror movies.

22. I will complete the first concept of study for my PreK test today before the end of school.

23. My nephew can make me laugh, even on my worst days.

24. I got four races for the price of one this summer.  Through this, I can improve on my 5k time throughout the summer.

25. I found a mud race that I can do for free through volunteering.

26. I can sing…well.

27. The Fast ForWord lady was impressed with how involved I am in the program, and offered to be a reference when I start looking for a teaching job.

28. I have stuck to my goal of not chewing gum… this is a HUGE accomplishment, since I used to rely on gum to curb cravings.

29. I can read music, something I consider to be a lost art.

30. School is out in 23 Days, and I’m only working 16 of those days.

 

Later Days,

-Jenni.



{May 13, 2013}   05.13.2013 – Part Two

I am having a bad day.  I’m unhappy, and I don’t know what would make me happy again.  Well, I do know what would make me happy, but it feels entirely unattainable at this point.  

I can remember when I could get on a scale and it would say 185.  I was happy at that weight.  It may have been a completely fucked up and emotionally disturbing time in my life, but that number meant everything to me.  Because that number was the result of a journey that was several years in the making.  That was me at 100 pounds less than I was in high school.  And I would give anything to get that number back.  And that sentence scares me.  Feeling the need to do anything to get a number back seems a bit ridiculous.  And more so than feeling ridiculous, it is causing an internal battle with myself.

I don’t know how to do moderate.  I have always been the type of person who is highly restrictive in her eating habits or binges on every sweet that she can get her hands on.  And I feel like that is how I have been living for the past several years.  I’ll restrict, restrict, restrict, until I can’t take it anymore and I end up eating an entire cake by myself.  And I laugh it off, and my friends laugh it off, and my family says “that’s just the way you’re made” or “you just need to splurge every now and then”.  But that isn’t healthy for me.  Going from 1000 calories one day to upwards of 3000 the next is dangerously unhealthy, and I’m getting to where I’ll do it on a normal basis.

I was so happy when I went to the doctor because I thought that finally someone would see the problems that I’m going through without me having to spell them out.  I was all set up to find a nutritionist that was going to help me figure out my bad eating habits and get me on track to having a healthy relationship with food.  And then Insurance got in the way.  “You cannot have a visit to a nutritionist through our company covered since you have a wellness program set up through your employer”.  I hid it, but I was crushed.  and I know that my therapist would say crushed is an “irrational” word, but that is how I felt.  I covered it up with finding the fitness program for the summer through the school board, but I really hated that I could not get the one thing I thought I really needed.

And now I’m stuck,

I am working through therapy, but I’m not feeling any better about my appearance.  I can read self-help and diet books until I’ve spent my life savings on them, but nothing seems to help.  I feel broken and all I want to do is cry because as much as I am putting on a facade of eating healthy and trying to lose weight, nothing is happening.  As much as I exude “confidence”, if there has been any movement on the scale it has been in a upward direction.  And I’ve given the muscle weighs more than fat talk as many times as I have received it, and I just feel like it does not apply in this case.  I have excess fat to lose.  I have lost it before.  So, it’s not muscle.  It’s just more fat.  

It’s so hard to change when you have all the answers, you just don’t know how to use them. I feel like I am so good at motivating others.  I can remember last summer when someone came up to me after a race and they told me I was their “timer”.  I was the person that motivated them to keep running.  When they wanted to stop, they were focused on trying to pass me.  That is kickass.  Now all I can think about is what they would think if they ran a race with me now.  After the ending of my relationship last summer I just kind of let myself go.  I didn’t go as far as some other people do when they end relationships, but I lost my fitness.  I lost my 33 minute 5k time.  I’ve gained close to 40 pounds.  And I never saw the problem while it was happening because I was hiding behind vices.  It’s easy to convince yourself tht nothing is wrong when you have people telling you that you’re beautiful…even if it is for the wrong reasons.  

Now I have a good relationship.  I have a great relationship with a guy that is pushing me to be better.  I just wish I believed him when he told me I was beautiful.  Sure, I have days where I believe it.  I just wish that I could believe it every time.  

Later Days,

-Jenni.



I am feeling my case of the Mondays, and I am hoping this weather clears up by tomorrow morning.  I cannot wait until Summer really kicks into high-gear.  As a Floridian, we don’t really ghet a Spring, so it’s Summer and Less-Like-Summer.  While I have enjoyed cooler temperatures, I am tired of the rain. 

This week, I am not only trying to stay on track with my exercise, but I am implementing healthier eating back into the program.  As much as I hate keeping track of my food with journals and calorie-couting, it’s the only way that I can effectively lose weight.  so while it may not be as measured as before, I am going to start journaling my food again.  Blegh.

Workout Set-Up for o5/13-05/19

Monday- 30 Day Shred, Levels one and two; Soccer Drills 

Tuesday- 30 Day Shred, Level two; Run

Wednesday- Soccer Drills with mini-workout; Flow Yoga

Thursday- 30 Day Shred, Level two (option of doing twice through); Hill Run

Friday- 30 Day Shred, Level two, twice

Saturday- 30 Day Shred, Level two (option of doing twice or adding second DVD workout); Run

Sunday- 30 Day Shred, Levels two and three; Soccer Drills

I am boring today.  And hungry.  I’m hungry.

Later Days,

-Jenni.



Sometimes I get bored and plan out my entire workout schedule through the end of the year… and that happened this morning. 

Due to wedding dates, I have had to give up on a few races and change around a few plans.  It actually has not been as mentally difficult as I expected it to be and I am mostly glad that I realized I needed to change dates before I had paid for the races.  I still have somthing to do every month, but it’s definitely a change from the original.  My new race list still includes the Watermelon Series over the summer and the Aching Quad for my birthday, but I have cut down the October race from the Living Dead Challenge to just the Frakenfooter half marathon on October 27.  November will be changes from the Lake to Lake 10k to a mud race.  I finally found one that is nearby and not a ridiculous amount of money (in my opinion, anyways).  For December I cut out the second half marathon and am just planning for the one in Orlando the first weekend of the month.  It’s a slightly easier schedule and it allows for a little more free time to play aournd with other workout plans.

I am still planning on adding some random gym time in the summer due to a free membership as a perk of being a School Board employee.  The only priority of this will be the Wednesday Nutrition and Fitness classes.  I do have plans to visit the gym, but this summer will be focused on improving my 5k time and working through a few DVD programs.  As previously mentioned, May is dedicated to 30 Day Shred.  So far, I am definitely feeling it, but actual results remain to be seen.  In June I am upping the stakes with two DVD programs: Six Week Six Pack and Ripped in 30.  I will be working on Level One of Six Week Six Pack for the enire month of June, then moving up to Level Two during July.  Once July hits, I will finish up Ripped in 30 and dedicate more time to my free gym pass and yoga.  August will consist of a lot of Bob Harper as I alternete his Pure Strength workout with his Kettlebell workout to add in some strength that does not involve the gym.  August will also mark the point at which I add in more yoga to my routine, adding Monday and Friday evenings to my yofa class load.  By October I will be in full running mode, planning for the half marathon at the end of the month.  At this point, I am going to evealuate my fitness level.  If I decide I am well enough, both physically and mentally, I am planning to attempt Insanity for the third time.  If I start at the end of October, I will be able to complete the entire program by December 31, 2013… which is a great way to start off the new year. 

As always, this is subject to change according to ability and functionality… but I am hoping this plan sticks. 

 

Later Days,

-Jenni.



Two days into 30 Day Shred and my legs are feeling it, for sure.  I was impressed that I had the ability to run as much as I did last night.  The boyfriend is actually finding ways to encourage me without making me feel so bad about being slow as snails.  I finished a 5k course in around 40 minutes, which is widely attributed to the fact that I cannot run fast and I need to invest in new running shoes.  These are over a year old and definitely out of commission.

Tonight will consist of some simple soccer drills and a flow yoga class that I am more than looking forward to this week.  I didn’t make it to the class last week, so I’m definitely feeling a little less than zen.  Surprisingly, I have been in a better mood this week.  I’m sure that can be contributed to the exercise that I have shoved back into my daily routine, but it’s always nice to feel better about where my life is headed. 

My second test for teaching certification is this Friday, and I am anxious and excited.  I am trying to stay confident about doing well on the test, but I really haven’t study as much as I could have in the past couple of weeks.  Hopefully all will go well.  I have been getting a good amount of “hands-on” teaching experience, so hopefully that will be reflected in my test scores.

The rest of this week consists of a lot of 30 Day Shred and a lot of running (Thursday, Friday, and Saturday).  Friday I might go for more walking than running, but it’s all in how I feel when the time comes. 

Later Days,

-Jenni.

 



I am trying so hard to be happy, you have to believe me.  I am trying to center myself and make choices that are going to make me smile, but it’s just so hard.  I do have the Taylor Swift album streaming, which is giving me some good feels, but not many.  Hopefully this afternoon will turn me in a more positive direction.

I am supposed to be volunteering at Fitniche this evening as we prepare for Mayfaire by the Lake on Saturday.  It’s an evening race, and I am looking forward to being someone cheering on all the finishers on Saturday night.  I am also looking forward to two yoga session this weekend…one on Wednesday night and then Karma Yoga on Sunday morning.  My regular Tuesday and Thursday runs are also going ot be making a comeback this week.  I also might add in 30-Day Shred in the afternoons, just to give me an extra little aerobic push.  I wish I had the gusto to wake up early and do it before work..but no.

I do better when I am fit, so that is my mantra for this week.  I must remember that fitness equals happiness. 

Later Days,

-Jenni.



{April 29, 2013}   04.29.2013 – Long-Term Goals

I took some time today to come up with a “wish list” of sorts for my fitness aspirations.  Many of these fitness goals are only held back by funding for the event, others are events that will require a higher endurance level than I currently hold, or an ability to swim that I do not currently maintain.

Fitness Goals to Achieve Before 30

1. Participate in Tough Mudder

2. Participate in the Spartan Race

3. Participate in the Horrible Hundred in Clermont

4. Complete the GoRuck Challenge

5. Complete a Half IronMan

6. Take Part in a Healthy Living Summit

7. Participate in the Rock n’ Roll Half Marathon in St. Pete AND in Las Vegas

8. Compete in a Multi-Run weekend

9. Participate in a 50k

10. Participate in a CrossFit workout

11. Learn how to swim (might need to do that BEFORE the IronMan)

12. Become a Yoga Instructor

13. Particpate in the US Running With the Bulls

 

While it’s a basic list, there are some pretty high asprations on this list for me.  I am in the process of completing at least two of these by the end of 2013.  I turn 30 in Spetember of 2019, so I’ve got time…but I’m sure it will go by faster than I think. 

Later Days,

-Jenni.



{April 25, 2013}   04.25.2013 – Getting Zen

I am having a love affair with yoga. 

I finally went to a Flow class yesterday evening, and I immediately fell in love with everything that is connected with Groundwork Yoga in Winter Haven.  The teacher was friendly, and fully supportive of me as I struggled through getting one or two poses perfect.  The other classmates were awesome.  It was a small class of five people, including the teacher.  Even with this small amount of people, we had someone at every level of study and flexibility.  The atmosphere of the room completely removes you from the hustle and noise going on right outside the door.  It is literally an hour and one-half of perfect zen.  It was just what I need after a week of FCAT and insomnia.  I plan to start out with just the Wednesday night Flow class, and then I will gradually add more classes until I am practicing yoga three or four times a week.  The teacher suggested that yoga would be the perfect “yin to my yang” when it came to adding it to a running routine, and I completely agree with that sentiment.  I am looking forward to exploring both areas of my life further as this year passes.

Yoga is really the only super entertaining thing happening this week.  I have started Tuesday evening runs in Lakeland, which are fun (and the boyfriend has started to join me).  I am still gaining my endurance with running.  I’ve lost most of it over the past month or so of not practicing.  As I work to get it back, I am listening to my body and not pushing myself too far too soon.  I have a lot of 5k races over the summer and the month following, and then I have a bout of half marathons from the end of October to the middle of December.  As of right now there are only three, but I might try to add another in November if it turns out I have the funds.  None of it is set in stone, but I would like to get comfortable with running thirteen miles before I looked into the big, bad marathon.

Look for an update at the latest on Sunday, but I am hoping to get one in before then.  I have a therapy consultation this afternoon, then Hills afterwards, Saturday morning Coffee Run, and  Karma Yoga on Sunday. 

Later Days,

-Jenni.



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