Run Jenni, Run











{May 25, 2013}   05.27.2013 – RAD

Today I completed the Color Me Rad 5k in Tampa, Florida.  Not only does this mark my first 5k of the year; it also marks my first 5k of the summer.  With all these races coming up, it;s time to get serious about my commitment to fitness.  When I say commitment, I don’t mean shoving myself in the living room to do a workout DVD that I dread doing.  I mean committing to do something active every day…something that I love.

Starting next week I will be able to go to yoga at least three times a week.  I skipped last week due to a cookout with some friends, so I will be able to use my last two trips this week on Tuesday and Wednesday.  Then, I am paying for the 30-Day pass on Friday once I get paid.  I think that yoga will give me a new appreciation for my body due to the fact that I am more able than I seem.  I need to get back to running hills, but my therapy appointments have taken my inertia away once I’m done talking about everything I have dealt with in a week.  I need to push myself to run right after my appointment and meet up with them once they start, or just find someplace that will give me energy during the hour of waiting for running club to start.

I just want to get back to the way I was.  I know I write a post complaining about the person I used to be at least once a week these days and the only one to blame for that is myself, I just wish I could find the strength to look past the trials and just say “fuck it” and reach my goals.  Part of me doesn’t even want to do it anymore.  I keep wanting to fast forward to the part of my life where it all makes sense, but I’m starting to doubt if that part ever comes.

Later Days,

-Jenni.

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{May 22, 2013}   05.22.2013 – Nine Days

Nine more days of school!  Yay!!

I am definitely ready to get my two-month break started.  It’s not REALLY a break because I will be volunteering the majority of the summer for a summer Preschool program, but it still will be a break from my actual job and an exploration into what I really want to do with my life.  I am still waiting on my Professional Education Test results, so I am just waiting for that.  I am less and less nervous about it, so I am okay with not knowing my results just yet.  I am hoping that the results come before my PreK test so that I can have a full answer by the time I take that test on whether I can start majorly searching for jobs or not.

In terms of workouts, I am learning to accept my ability to do any form of activity.  Yesterday, I had a run planned, but I ended up doing soccer drills ith Luke for the afternoon because I was on his side of town instead of mine.  I enjoyed myself, and I got in a decent workout.  Today I have soccer planned and my yoga class.  It’s hard to get me to not go to yoga.  I cannot wait until I can spring for the unlimited pass next month.

Hope you all are having a great week!  I’ll update more on food choices later.  It’s a learning process and I am definitely adding more fruits and veggies.  It’s just difficult to go about it without weighing myself every day and counting calories like it’s going out of style.

Later Days,

-Jenni.



Today at 3:40 in the afternoon I ate a quick PB wrap and checked my mail.

By 4:00, I was getting ready to start Insanity with a major chip on my shoulder.  The chip on my shoulder was something that someone from my past life had posted about her weight loss success.  What most people don’t connect is the fact that she has most likely reached that success in very unhealthy ways (i.e. It’s easy to lose weight when you’re spending your grocery money on drugs).

At 5:00, I collapsed in my kitchen for reasons that I am not fully aware of.  The most likely reasons include the combination of all the stress I’ve been feeling lately mixed with my decrease in calories by at least 1000 per day…and the fact that I let someone else’s life get to me.  And in reality, I am always letting someone else’s life get to me.  There is always going to be someone who has it better, someone skinnier or richer.  There is nothing I can do to change that, because even my best self is going to have an enemy.

So, I have decided to rethink my goals.  Not my major goals.  I would still like to lose weight and I would still like to get as fit as I possibly can.  But I am rethinking how I am going about doing this.  I still want to do Insanity, but it might be better to cut it down to three or so days a week.  I am not completely 100% on this change, but it’s probably going to happen whether I want to or not.

I will basically be switching to my summer workout plan before summer actually gets here.  Which is Insanity, gym, and running.  I would be throwing Hills back into the mix, which might actually help me because it would get me doing something socially again.  That was something I used to look forward to, and I let it drop away so quickly again.  It’s always the first thing I bump off my list, but then I realize that it is one of the things that I need.  In adding Hills back into the mix, I will probably need to invest in some running shoe, but I will cross that bridge when I come to it.  Insanity will be done Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  Thursdays will be reserved for running.  The other days will be gym or some other form of fitness.  I am still planning on checking out the Karma Yoga class on Sunday, and I am hoping that will fall into my routine.  I will cross the Hot Yoga bridge when I come to it in May.  I should be straightened out by then, so I don’t see why it isn’t something I could add.  Saturday or Sunday I will probably add a run or walk/hike whenever possible.  If I am feeling able, I’d still like to go on my hike that I have planned for Saturday, but again it’s all in how the next few days plan out.

One of the hardest things for me to hear is that I’m not allowed to do what I want to do.  And since what I want to do seems to be pushing my body too far, I am stuck hearing the hardest thing for me to hear.

I’ll be back with a full update tomorrow.  Hopefully the doctor will have some good news.

Later Days,

-Jenni



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