Run Jenni, Run











{April 16, 2013}   04.16.2013 – Slight Hiatus

There are a few reasons why I am going to have just a small amount of updates for the upcoming weeks.

1. FCAT.  There is no explanation needed for this one… stress stress stress.

2. I am no longer counting calories, at least until I see my nutritionist.  Futhermore, I may stop counting them all together.  It has become too much of an obsession for me, and it is leaning on the realm of unhealthy habits.  Instead of being so enveloped in how many calories I consume, I am focusing on how I feel when I eat.  I will make further decisions once I am able to speak with a professional about an eating plan.

3. Along with not counting calories, I am slowing down my exercising.  I am paying more attention to what my body wants to do rather than what I am pushing it to do.  This is another factor I plan to speak to my nutritionist about becasuse it is another factor that has been coming in as slightly unhealthy lately.  I am not sure how far is too far when it comes to pushing myself, and the reprecussions of last weekend have made me take a step back and look at what I am doing to myself.

I have a lot that I am dealing with on a personal level when it comes to my relationship with food and exercise.  As much as I still want ot have a goal weight and a goal for my pant’s size, I also need to take a look at if I am doing it in a healthy manner.  As much as I would love to be a size 6, it’s not worth killing myself to get there if I can be happy at a size 10. 

I still have a workout plan in place, but I am trying to allow it to be subject to change whenever my body tells me that I need a day off or that I would prefer cardio at the gym over a workout DVD.  Hopefully, everything will figure itself out. 

Later Days,

-Jenni.

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Today at 3:40 in the afternoon I ate a quick PB wrap and checked my mail.

By 4:00, I was getting ready to start Insanity with a major chip on my shoulder.  The chip on my shoulder was something that someone from my past life had posted about her weight loss success.  What most people don’t connect is the fact that she has most likely reached that success in very unhealthy ways (i.e. It’s easy to lose weight when you’re spending your grocery money on drugs).

At 5:00, I collapsed in my kitchen for reasons that I am not fully aware of.  The most likely reasons include the combination of all the stress I’ve been feeling lately mixed with my decrease in calories by at least 1000 per day…and the fact that I let someone else’s life get to me.  And in reality, I am always letting someone else’s life get to me.  There is always going to be someone who has it better, someone skinnier or richer.  There is nothing I can do to change that, because even my best self is going to have an enemy.

So, I have decided to rethink my goals.  Not my major goals.  I would still like to lose weight and I would still like to get as fit as I possibly can.  But I am rethinking how I am going about doing this.  I still want to do Insanity, but it might be better to cut it down to three or so days a week.  I am not completely 100% on this change, but it’s probably going to happen whether I want to or not.

I will basically be switching to my summer workout plan before summer actually gets here.  Which is Insanity, gym, and running.  I would be throwing Hills back into the mix, which might actually help me because it would get me doing something socially again.  That was something I used to look forward to, and I let it drop away so quickly again.  It’s always the first thing I bump off my list, but then I realize that it is one of the things that I need.  In adding Hills back into the mix, I will probably need to invest in some running shoe, but I will cross that bridge when I come to it.  Insanity will be done Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  Thursdays will be reserved for running.  The other days will be gym or some other form of fitness.  I am still planning on checking out the Karma Yoga class on Sunday, and I am hoping that will fall into my routine.  I will cross the Hot Yoga bridge when I come to it in May.  I should be straightened out by then, so I don’t see why it isn’t something I could add.  Saturday or Sunday I will probably add a run or walk/hike whenever possible.  If I am feeling able, I’d still like to go on my hike that I have planned for Saturday, but again it’s all in how the next few days plan out.

One of the hardest things for me to hear is that I’m not allowed to do what I want to do.  And since what I want to do seems to be pushing my body too far, I am stuck hearing the hardest thing for me to hear.

I’ll be back with a full update tomorrow.  Hopefully the doctor will have some good news.

Later Days,

-Jenni



et cetera