Run Jenni, Run











{May 22, 2013}   05.22.2013 – Nine Days

Nine more days of school!  Yay!!

I am definitely ready to get my two-month break started.  It’s not REALLY a break because I will be volunteering the majority of the summer for a summer Preschool program, but it still will be a break from my actual job and an exploration into what I really want to do with my life.  I am still waiting on my Professional Education Test results, so I am just waiting for that.  I am less and less nervous about it, so I am okay with not knowing my results just yet.  I am hoping that the results come before my PreK test so that I can have a full answer by the time I take that test on whether I can start majorly searching for jobs or not.

In terms of workouts, I am learning to accept my ability to do any form of activity.  Yesterday, I had a run planned, but I ended up doing soccer drills ith Luke for the afternoon because I was on his side of town instead of mine.  I enjoyed myself, and I got in a decent workout.  Today I have soccer planned and my yoga class.  It’s hard to get me to not go to yoga.  I cannot wait until I can spring for the unlimited pass next month.

Hope you all are having a great week!  I’ll update more on food choices later.  It’s a learning process and I am definitely adding more fruits and veggies.  It’s just difficult to go about it without weighing myself every day and counting calories like it’s going out of style.

Later Days,

-Jenni.

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Wow, it’s been awhile!

The end of school is fast approaching, and no one is more ready for summer than I am.  I have got my summer workout plan figured out and I am ready to throw it into action.  It’s full of yoga and a lot of running/soccer practice.  I have June planned out, an I am excited to be opting for the unlimited yoga pass for the entire month.  I will be able to focus on my practice and have myself centered for summer.  Throwing cardio in the mix will help improve my cardio and be the action that really burns the extra calories I am trying to lose.  I am trying to focus on adding rather than subtracting, something that I am learning about as I am reading Healthy Tipping Point, the book written by one of my favorite bloggers, Caitlyn Boyle. 

The main idea I am focusing on this summer is not restrictiong food, but adding physical activity.  As I add physical activity, I know that I will be craving better food.  While I am not restricting myself from a piece of chocolate if that is what I desire, I am hoping that the increase in activity will cause me to increase my intake of healthier options like fruits and vegetables.  I am also hoping to continue my vegetarian diet, which has blackslid a bit the past several weeks.  I am trying not to focus on calorie-couting, as I have done in the past.  This time around I am trying to add in nutritious food, at a reasonable portion size, that will keep me feeling nutured and healthy. 

It definitely a journey, and I am glad to be start it (again!).  I am ready to take back my life and find my healthy, and happy, place in the world.

Later Days,

-Jenni.



1. I’m reading Healthy Tipping Point.  I am hoping this book will teach me how to love myself and how to work on lifestyle changes rather than “quick fixes”.

2. I signed up for an organic buying club.  It’s a lot of healthy food for $25 a week.  That’s a pretty decent price for someone who is always trying to save an extra dime or two.

3. Next month I’m going for the unlimited yoga pass.  I love running, and I’m going to keep it up, but I think that yogas is going to be a better use of time when it comes to learning to love myself and respect my body.

Later Days,

-Jenni Warren



{May 13, 2013}   05.13.2013 – Part Two

I am having a bad day.  I’m unhappy, and I don’t know what would make me happy again.  Well, I do know what would make me happy, but it feels entirely unattainable at this point.  

I can remember when I could get on a scale and it would say 185.  I was happy at that weight.  It may have been a completely fucked up and emotionally disturbing time in my life, but that number meant everything to me.  Because that number was the result of a journey that was several years in the making.  That was me at 100 pounds less than I was in high school.  And I would give anything to get that number back.  And that sentence scares me.  Feeling the need to do anything to get a number back seems a bit ridiculous.  And more so than feeling ridiculous, it is causing an internal battle with myself.

I don’t know how to do moderate.  I have always been the type of person who is highly restrictive in her eating habits or binges on every sweet that she can get her hands on.  And I feel like that is how I have been living for the past several years.  I’ll restrict, restrict, restrict, until I can’t take it anymore and I end up eating an entire cake by myself.  And I laugh it off, and my friends laugh it off, and my family says “that’s just the way you’re made” or “you just need to splurge every now and then”.  But that isn’t healthy for me.  Going from 1000 calories one day to upwards of 3000 the next is dangerously unhealthy, and I’m getting to where I’ll do it on a normal basis.

I was so happy when I went to the doctor because I thought that finally someone would see the problems that I’m going through without me having to spell them out.  I was all set up to find a nutritionist that was going to help me figure out my bad eating habits and get me on track to having a healthy relationship with food.  And then Insurance got in the way.  “You cannot have a visit to a nutritionist through our company covered since you have a wellness program set up through your employer”.  I hid it, but I was crushed.  and I know that my therapist would say crushed is an “irrational” word, but that is how I felt.  I covered it up with finding the fitness program for the summer through the school board, but I really hated that I could not get the one thing I thought I really needed.

And now I’m stuck,

I am working through therapy, but I’m not feeling any better about my appearance.  I can read self-help and diet books until I’ve spent my life savings on them, but nothing seems to help.  I feel broken and all I want to do is cry because as much as I am putting on a facade of eating healthy and trying to lose weight, nothing is happening.  As much as I exude “confidence”, if there has been any movement on the scale it has been in a upward direction.  And I’ve given the muscle weighs more than fat talk as many times as I have received it, and I just feel like it does not apply in this case.  I have excess fat to lose.  I have lost it before.  So, it’s not muscle.  It’s just more fat.  

It’s so hard to change when you have all the answers, you just don’t know how to use them. I feel like I am so good at motivating others.  I can remember last summer when someone came up to me after a race and they told me I was their “timer”.  I was the person that motivated them to keep running.  When they wanted to stop, they were focused on trying to pass me.  That is kickass.  Now all I can think about is what they would think if they ran a race with me now.  After the ending of my relationship last summer I just kind of let myself go.  I didn’t go as far as some other people do when they end relationships, but I lost my fitness.  I lost my 33 minute 5k time.  I’ve gained close to 40 pounds.  And I never saw the problem while it was happening because I was hiding behind vices.  It’s easy to convince yourself tht nothing is wrong when you have people telling you that you’re beautiful…even if it is for the wrong reasons.  

Now I have a good relationship.  I have a great relationship with a guy that is pushing me to be better.  I just wish I believed him when he told me I was beautiful.  Sure, I have days where I believe it.  I just wish that I could believe it every time.  

Later Days,

-Jenni.



I am feeling my case of the Mondays, and I am hoping this weather clears up by tomorrow morning.  I cannot wait until Summer really kicks into high-gear.  As a Floridian, we don’t really ghet a Spring, so it’s Summer and Less-Like-Summer.  While I have enjoyed cooler temperatures, I am tired of the rain. 

This week, I am not only trying to stay on track with my exercise, but I am implementing healthier eating back into the program.  As much as I hate keeping track of my food with journals and calorie-couting, it’s the only way that I can effectively lose weight.  so while it may not be as measured as before, I am going to start journaling my food again.  Blegh.

Workout Set-Up for o5/13-05/19

Monday- 30 Day Shred, Levels one and two; Soccer Drills 

Tuesday- 30 Day Shred, Level two; Run

Wednesday- Soccer Drills with mini-workout; Flow Yoga

Thursday- 30 Day Shred, Level two (option of doing twice through); Hill Run

Friday- 30 Day Shred, Level two, twice

Saturday- 30 Day Shred, Level two (option of doing twice or adding second DVD workout); Run

Sunday- 30 Day Shred, Levels two and three; Soccer Drills

I am boring today.  And hungry.  I’m hungry.

Later Days,

-Jenni.



{April 16, 2013}   04.16.2013 – Slight Hiatus

There are a few reasons why I am going to have just a small amount of updates for the upcoming weeks.

1. FCAT.  There is no explanation needed for this one… stress stress stress.

2. I am no longer counting calories, at least until I see my nutritionist.  Futhermore, I may stop counting them all together.  It has become too much of an obsession for me, and it is leaning on the realm of unhealthy habits.  Instead of being so enveloped in how many calories I consume, I am focusing on how I feel when I eat.  I will make further decisions once I am able to speak with a professional about an eating plan.

3. Along with not counting calories, I am slowing down my exercising.  I am paying more attention to what my body wants to do rather than what I am pushing it to do.  This is another factor I plan to speak to my nutritionist about becasuse it is another factor that has been coming in as slightly unhealthy lately.  I am not sure how far is too far when it comes to pushing myself, and the reprecussions of last weekend have made me take a step back and look at what I am doing to myself.

I have a lot that I am dealing with on a personal level when it comes to my relationship with food and exercise.  As much as I still want ot have a goal weight and a goal for my pant’s size, I also need to take a look at if I am doing it in a healthy manner.  As much as I would love to be a size 6, it’s not worth killing myself to get there if I can be happy at a size 10. 

I still have a workout plan in place, but I am trying to allow it to be subject to change whenever my body tells me that I need a day off or that I would prefer cardio at the gym over a workout DVD.  Hopefully, everything will figure itself out. 

Later Days,

-Jenni.



The official weigh-in result for this morning was 204 pounds, for a total of ten pounds lost this week.

Tot celebrate, I’m having watermelon for breakfast.  That’s not really a celebration, but it is soothing because my mouth is super dry from being out last night and partying like the true metalhead I am and forgetting to stay hydrated while doing so.  But it will work in my favor because if I learn how to growl, the boyfriend will learn Mumford and Sons.

The only major fail about dehydration is I crave all the bad things.  It also might be because I watched members of a band devour food at a rate that is normally unknown to man…that also might be a reason, yeah.  But I am craving some carby-doughy goodness.  Hopefully it will go away by lunch.  I could throw together another wrap, which might help my cause a bit.

Today will be an interesting adventure in finding when and where to workout.  Both of my parents are home, I have to go help my mother at work, and when I get home my aunt is supposed to come over.  Also, I hate working out in front of people.  But I’d rather workout in front of the boyfriend than family members…so it looks like I’ll be dragging the party to his house this afternoon.  Hopefully he will have had enough sleep… or he can just sleep while I workout.  Then no one will see me…MUHAHAHHA.

This update is getting weird.  I mostly just wanted to say I lost weight, I’m happy, and I plan to do more next week.

Later Days,

-Jenni.



So, the official weigh-in is tomorrow… but I have been weighing every morning and today I clocked in at 203.  Remember what I posted Monday? 214  But do not be deceived.  This is not 11 pounds of pure fat that I have rid from my body.  This is 11 pounds of crappy food.  I switched to an 85% vegetarian/clean diet and I banished all the sludge that had been chilling in my body for over two weeks.

Now that you’ve got that lovely image in your head…on with the Insanity update.

I completed Day Three, Cardio Power and Resistance, today.  As it was the first time I tried Insanity, I prefer this workout to the Plyo workout.  I really enjoy jumping side-to-side… and this workout has at least three moves that let me do that.  And I love that doing Insanity doesn’t make me feel like death after.  I actually want to go out and go for a walk or something.  I putting the walk off…but I really wanna do it.  Maybe even attempt longboarding.  I feel fearless, whatttt.  Feeling fearless now will later be me getting on and off the loagboard for several attempts and only going about twenty feet at a time…if that.  I also don’t find myself particularly starving after a hard workout.  However, I am wanting more carbs with my meals.  I am still staying under 50 a meal, but my snacks are always a little high on the carb scale…but that’s mostly because they are fruit.

Speaking of fruit… Watermelon is on sale at Publix this week and OMG I’m in love with it.  So juicy and amazing and beautiful and it is my new food lover.  I could probably eat an entire watermelon throughout the day and be okay with it.  My digestive system would probably hate me, but it’s a small price to pay for that naturally sweet goodness.

I was going to write more, but I got distracted by my Facebook.  I felt the need to clean it up a bit.

Full weigh-in update with next weeks goals tomorrow.

Later Days,

-Jenni.



After an extended vacation from my daily trips, I hate the gym.  I hated it yesterday and I’m probably going to hate it today.  I also hate that I’m starving right now and I’m not supposed to eat for at least another hour.  Basically, I’m just in a hating mood today. 

But in a positive light… I am looking forward to this weekend.  Two out-of-town trips in which I will probably see two of my most favorite people.  That is something to look forward to.  Furthermore, even if I do hate the gym right now, I am looking forward to starting Insanity again.  I am also looking forward to things I am not at liberty to discuss on this blog… get your mind out of the gutter, people, it’s nothing like that.

I am hoping to add some yoga to my workout this afternoon depending on how I feel.  I know that I am going to have to find a way to keep stretched out once I add Insanity back into the mix.  I am hoping that I will do Insanity Thursday – Tuesday, then have a “rest” day on Wednesday.  During my rest day I am going to try to add in a bit of extra cardio in the form of biking at the gym.  I will also be taking advantage of the sauna at the gym whenever possible, which will probably be two to three times a week.  If money permits, I am also considering adding a hot yoga class (I’ve been talking about it for months, and I finally found one…so I just need to do it).  I think the hot yoga will definitely keep my muscles feeling fresh, and any extra yoga during the week will just reinforce that fact.  I am mostly adding the extra cardio at the gym to allow myself to feel like I am still getting my money’s worth while I am doing most of my working out at home. 

I might also consider setting extra goals within my Insanity regime and rewarding myself accordingly.  Like if I improve by so much on the fit Test every two weeks, I can treat myself to a groupon massage.  I have my little 190lb. spa day planned, but that will be at home.  I need something that involves professionals to look forward to as well.

This unorganized post was brought to you by extreme boredom and avoidance of grown-up tasks.

Later Days,

-Jenni.



{April 2, 2013}   04.02.2013 – Mega Update

First, and foremost, I passed the General Knowledge Exam!  Now, on to the Professional Education Test, which I am hoping to take around the middle of May.  Being done with math (again) is a huge weight off my shoulders and it gives me more time to focus on new fitness goals. 

I started my 85% vegetarian journey this week and it is going quite well.  I am currently trying o cut down to only having meat with one meal per day.  This might become a problem as I run low on food, but I did realize that I have more veggie burgers hanging out in my freezer than I originally thought.  Other than my lack of spending money to go towards food this month, I’m doing okay on that front.  It might be a little less fresh fruits and veggies compared to the frozen options, but I think my body will survive a month of the lesser options.  Once I’m finished with what’s in my freezer, there will be more room for the super healthy options.  I am currently reading The Kind Diet, which is more informative than I originally gave it credit.  Not only informative, I love that it is written in a positive and uplifting light, a far cry from Skinny Bitch, a book that suggests the same plant-based diet but with a sharper tongue.

Along with my vegetarian journey, I have a few fitness goals to add to my list as well. 

1. As I have already mentioned, I want to use this summer to learn how to swim.  My major goal is to start participating in triathalons, but I need to get the actual learning process out-of-the-way before I can start looking at swimming as a valid exercise.  Right now it just consists of me flapping around in the water and trying not to drown.  This goal can be reached through private swimming lessons that are offered at the Lakeland Civic Center pool.  Done and done.

2. My second goal involves investing in a bike.  In preparation for the triathalons that I hope to add to my agenda next year, I need to start focusing on biking as its own sport.  This will involve getting a bike and riding on a normal basis.  While I am living at home, I will be able to use the Fort Frasier Trail.  once I move to Winter Haven, I will be able to bike to and from the gym and my apartment.  I’m not badass enough to bike to work…and even if I could handle the distance traffic would scare me off the road. 

3.  The final goal, which I am able to start this month, is to complete the 60-Day Insanity challenge.  I have the program mapped out, starting next Thursday.  This will involve a lot more updates from me in terms of measurements, weight, and how I am feeling.  I tried the program a couple of years ago and had to stop due to my knee.  This time, I am planning to focus on what my body is telling me and taking breaks when I know I need to stop.  I am going to try to add a few gym trips a week to this plan, but just for extra cardio.  And I am planning on staying off the treadmill in order to keep my joints comfortable.

More updates to come.  I’m back in the gym for the first time in two weeks this afternoon.  Wish me luck!

Later Days,

-Jenni.



et cetera