Run Jenni, Run











{April 11, 2013}   04.11.2013 – Thoughts on Today

Today at 3:40 in the afternoon I ate a quick PB wrap and checked my mail.

By 4:00, I was getting ready to start Insanity with a major chip on my shoulder.  The chip on my shoulder was something that someone from my past life had posted about her weight loss success.  What most people don’t connect is the fact that she has most likely reached that success in very unhealthy ways (i.e. It’s easy to lose weight when you’re spending your grocery money on drugs).

At 5:00, I collapsed in my kitchen for reasons that I am not fully aware of.  The most likely reasons include the combination of all the stress I’ve been feeling lately mixed with my decrease in calories by at least 1000 per day…and the fact that I let someone else’s life get to me.  And in reality, I am always letting someone else’s life get to me.  There is always going to be someone who has it better, someone skinnier or richer.  There is nothing I can do to change that, because even my best self is going to have an enemy.

So, I have decided to rethink my goals.  Not my major goals.  I would still like to lose weight and I would still like to get as fit as I possibly can.  But I am rethinking how I am going about doing this.  I still want to do Insanity, but it might be better to cut it down to three or so days a week.  I am not completely 100% on this change, but it’s probably going to happen whether I want to or not.

I will basically be switching to my summer workout plan before summer actually gets here.  Which is Insanity, gym, and running.  I would be throwing Hills back into the mix, which might actually help me because it would get me doing something socially again.  That was something I used to look forward to, and I let it drop away so quickly again.  It’s always the first thing I bump off my list, but then I realize that it is one of the things that I need.  In adding Hills back into the mix, I will probably need to invest in some running shoe, but I will cross that bridge when I come to it.  Insanity will be done Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  Thursdays will be reserved for running.  The other days will be gym or some other form of fitness.  I am still planning on checking out the Karma Yoga class on Sunday, and I am hoping that will fall into my routine.  I will cross the Hot Yoga bridge when I come to it in May.  I should be straightened out by then, so I don’t see why it isn’t something I could add.  Saturday or Sunday I will probably add a run or walk/hike whenever possible.  If I am feeling able, I’d still like to go on my hike that I have planned for Saturday, but again it’s all in how the next few days plan out.

One of the hardest things for me to hear is that I’m not allowed to do what I want to do.  And since what I want to do seems to be pushing my body too far, I am stuck hearing the hardest thing for me to hear.

I’ll be back with a full update tomorrow.  Hopefully the doctor will have some good news.

Later Days,

-Jenni

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