Run Jenni, Run











{September 26, 2012}   09.26.2012 – What’s Your Motivation?

What causes you to do what you do?  What causes you to wake up a little earlier every morning and lace up your shoes?  What causes you to choose carrots over cake?

Old girlfriends?  Old boyfriends?  Yourself?  Your family?  Friends?  Enemies?

Everyone has some type of motivation in their life.  For me, it mostly points back to my need to be accepted.  As good as I feel when I’m doing things for myself, I perform better when I feel like I’m in some type of competition.  If I am working to prove I am better than someone, as petty as that may sound, I am more likely to push myself to the edge.

I finished the entire Kettlebell workout DVD this morning, and it wasn’t something I did for myself.  If I was working out for myself, I would have been satisfied with 20 minutes of the workout.  When my dad came in and asked if I was almost finished, I would have given up the room with no argument.  But because I am trying to prove myself to everyone who thinks they are better, I pushed myself the extra 30 minutes.  I fought through my arms tiring and my legs wanting to give out from underneath me.  Sure, I may have taken breaks, but I fought through until the end of the DVD.  I didn’t take a break and decide it was time to hang up the towel.  I took a drink of water and went right back into it.

What causes you to fight this way?  And is it a bad thing to be motivated in what some would consider a “negative” way?  I still have a hold on my limits, but I am more likely to grace the line of them when I have another force pushing me to do better.  It may not work for some people, but this is the motivation that pushes me.  My drive comes from the need to prove to people I am better.  It is prideful, and probably a bit narcissistic, but it works.

Later Days,

-Jenni.

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